To which her husband replied: 'Well, moi dear, Oi hent heared yew be silent yit.' * * * WASPISH A farmer had a wasp sting him in the neck and he went into a dead faint. The men tried to revive him but could not, so they sent for the doctor. When the farmer came round the doctor asked him where the wasp had stung him. He answered: 'In that there field.' * * * FURRIN BODY The local choir were having their annual outing to the seaside and the new young vicar, thinking to give them a treat, had ordered oyster patties for the high tea instead of the usual fish and chips. Old George, who had never seen such things before, gazed at them for a moment or two; then, carefully taking the top off one on his plate, looked inside suspiciously. After poking it with his fork he called: 'Hoi, Vicar, cum yew hare a minute. That look like suffin' have doied in my bun.' * * * THE CHRISTMAS BOX The boy on the farm asked his master for a Christmas box. Putting his hand in his pocket the farmer said: 'Let me see, boy, how much did I give you last year?' 'Nourthing,' replied the boy. 'Well,' said the farmer, 'I'll give you the same this year – but next year don't ask me.' * * * GOOD IDEA 'Oi've bin hevin' me taters up terday,' said Jack, lighting up his pipe in the bar of the Lion. 'Oh, ah,' said his crony. 'How'd they tarn up?' 'Well,' said Jack, 'ter tell yer the truth, bor, Oi got more taters orf the self-sown uns than Oi did orf those Oi set – so Oi think Oi'll set all self-sown uns next year.' * * *
Whereupon Fred fixed him with a severe gaze and replied: 'Yew git on o' your work, marster. Oi'm on the staff up here.' * * * SLOW AND LATE
At a station between Norwich and Ipswich, an American tourist was telling the porter that our railways were small in comparison with those in the U.S.A. and that the trains were slow. He was also grumbling that many of the trains were late. Suddenly the East Anglian express, hauled by a steam locomotive of the Britannia class in wonderfully clean condition, roared through the station at about 70 m.p.h. 'What was that, buddy?' said the American, somewhat surprised. 'Oh, thass on'y old Bill a-shunting,' replied the porter.
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Boy Albie
Norfolk born and bred. Archives
August 2020
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