A fireman quickly tried to calm them down. 'You don't want to worry yourselves a mite,' he told them. That en't your chimney on fire. We just put the spout down the wrong chimney.' * * * RECEPTACLE PROVIDED Many years ago, a farmer was driving home from market with his grown up daughter in their horse and trap. At one point of their journey they were held up by robbers who demanded their money. After searching the pair and finding nothing, the highwaymen appropriated the horse and trap and drove away, leaving the farmer and his daughter standing by the roadside. Father and daughter looked at one another and finally he said: 'What did you do with the purse?' His daughter replied by producing it from her mouth and said 'Yew offen tell me that moi mouth is too wide but tha's bin useful today.' Father went quiet for a few minutes, then he said : 'Pity yar owd Mother woon't here, we coulda saved the hoss and cart.' * * * NIGHTLIGHT An elderly villager once said to me: 'Th'ode moon en't a bit o' good. That never shoines on a dark noight.' * * * BOTH ALIKE An old man went to see the doctor with knee trouble. After examination, the doctor said he thought the pain in the knee was due to old age. 'Oi can't hev that,' said the old man. 'Both moi knees are the same age an' t' other one's orl right.' * * *
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