It's been quite a while, but I'm back again now with some more jokes and stories in Norfolk dialect. They are standing under an old oak tree, which is still growing in the area but now, instead of standing on its own, the ancient tree is surrounded by housing. And now for the first story, which I hope will amuse you. THASS A LARF 'Well, m'boy,' said Owd Bob. 'Talkin' abowt beer, Oi shull allers call t' mind the day Oi went t' Bungay Rearsus. 'Oi was a young darvul in them there days Oi c'n tell yew! Me un my paartners wus orf there t' see them there owd hosses. They cud wholly run in them there days, yew know, suffun diff'nt t' the owd French hosses now. 'Well, bor, it all started arter Oi'd had one or two. What did Oi dew but a-start a-walkin' back'ds right thru' them there owd farm'rs un folk who ud come to see the rearsun. So my brothers they say t' me, "Wuh bor, yew a had anuff, that yew hev. Dew yew a be a-gittin' hum, dew yew dorn't yew'll git yarself inter trouble." 'Orf Oi goo hum. That wus a rare long walk too. Hetter walk everywhere in them days, yew know. Oi'll never know t' this here day how Oi got hum, but Oi did. It must a bin somewhere about chimin' hours Oi reckun. In frunt a our house wus a lot a rareluns, five a six on 'em high. Dew yew know, bor, Oi must a thought they wus our owd stairs, cus Oi tuk orf my boots un socks and started a climberin' up on 'em. A cors when Oi got t' the top over Oi goo inter the owd front gardun. 'Arter a little while up goo one o' the bedrum winders and my mother she say, "Wuh, Father, dew yew hear that owd row in the gardun, that sound like some one a-snorin." 'A cors that wus me yew might be sure. As it wus moonlight she could see me and she say, "Wuh, thas thet there boy Bob!" 'Father he git up and git me indoors, but, dew yew know when Oi git upstairs and undress Oi starts a-walkin' down agin. Oi wus that there duzzy Oi dint know up from down. 'Next day Oi hetta goo a tanup (turnip) cartin' and it wus a rare good job Oi had a hoss un not an owd motor. Round and round the fild went thu owd hoss un tumble (tumbril). Oi sat in thu bottom on ut and bor, wunt Oi suffin bad. 'That day larn'd me, Oi can tell yer, an' Oi hint touched a drop from that day t' this. Them that dew, dew say as how the beer int s' good now. Well that wus my 'sperience so Oi leave yew tu judge.' * * *
'No no. I mean who's the master ?' the squire asked him. George, again pointing: 'That little owld b****r there. 'E can whip the lot on 'em.' The squire rode on and, a bit later, he met the head stockman. 'George was trying to be funny this morning,' he told the stockman. 'Just take it out of him, will you?' Head stockman, later, to George: 'Squire's just bin a-talking to me 'bout yew. He says he watta gi' yew a job up at the Hall.' George: 'Oh, ahh? Wha's that?' Stockman : 'He wants yew to go up there an' play the fool.' 'What?' replied George. 'Is 'e a-gorn' to give yew the sack or is e' a-gorn' to keep two on us?' * * * A MASTEROUS GOOD JOB A couple of farm workers were talking in the corner of a field while they were having their 'elevenses'. One of them asked: 'An' what are your two boys doin' now, Jim?' 'Well,' said Jim, 'the younger one hev got himself apprenticed to a baker, but the other one hev a master good job in Norwich. He earn more a week than Oi dew. 'Oh, ah – what dew he dew then?' He droive one of them public conveniences.' * * * FINAL JOURNEY Uncle John, who spent most of his life running errands for his wife, died. She was concerned as to how she should send the money to the undertaker to pay the funeral expenses and, after offering various alternatives, remarked: 'Now, if John wus here he cood hev took that down on his boike.' * * * WUSS ORF One morning, Fred, who had been very busy ditching, had just sat down for a moment to have a smoke when old farmer Collins came up and told him off. Fred thought he had well earned his smoke and said to farmer Collins: 'One thing Oi dew know. The more yew dew, the better yew git wuss.' * * * Young fellow (slower and louder); 'HA' YA' SEEN BOB?'
Old man: 'No. Ha' yew ?
1 Comment
Daniel Melbourne
12/1/2020 03:46:01 am
This is lovely. Oi hatte larf sum
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Boy Albie
Norfolk born and bred. Archives
August 2020
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