'How do you mean, just right?' asked the farmer. 'Well,' said Fred, 'if that had bin any betta Oi woon't hev got it an' if that had bin any wusser Oi coon't hev drunk it!' * * * HE DON'T LISSEN, DO HE? An old man and a young lad were muck spreading on a farm one day when the farmer, who had been watching them from the gate, walked up to them and said to the younger one: 'George, I've been watching you two at work and I've noticed that the old man is spreading two forkfuls to your one.' 'Yis, maaster, Oi know', replied George. 'Oi keep a-tellin' the silly old sod 'bout it but he tearke no notice o' me.' * * * THE OLD QUESTION A Norfolk farmer was helping one of his men to fill out a Government form. 'How old are you'.'' he said. 'Oi'm noighty-one,' replied the man. 'Nonsense!' said the farmer. 'Your fathers still alive. How old is he?' 'He's terrible old, he is. Over eighty.' * * *
On this occasion Brookes was driving Smith's horse and cart with reckless abandon, with Charlie seated beside him.
Suddenly the horse, travelling at full speed, staggered and fell. As the shafts hit the road, the cart broke away and smashed itself to bits against a tree. All was still for a moment, then Fred, who had managed to hold tight and was still sitting on the seat amongst the wreckage, said: 'Watta yar git down outta yar cart in such a hurry fer, Master Smith?' Back came the winded reply from the ditch on the other side of the road: 'Cor blast yar eyes, bor. Somebody a' gotta goo back an' see arter the poor b****y hoss.'
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Boy Albie
Norfolk born and bred. Archives
August 2020
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