“Oh, we’re playin’ at confarmation, yar worship," said one boy, "an' these hare mud pois are the boys and gals woss being’ confarmed.” To this, the right reverend man of the cloth replied: “But I cannot see the bishop – where is he?” The grubby little boy scratched his head, thought for a moment, then replied: “Well, you see, sar, that tearke a rare ol' sight of muck to mearke a bishop, that that dew!” * * * WELL, OI BE DAWG GORN! Old Elijah Rowbottom used to live with a dog, he called Flash, in a caravan on the edge of Gissing green. One day, the local policeman, upon seeing the dog tethered next to the caravan, asked Elijah if he had a dog licence. "No, that Oi hent," Elijah replied, "I hent gotta licence corse Oi hent got no money to buy one." "Well, my good man," the constable continued, taking his notebook out of his top pocket, "I'm afraid you'll have to get one. That's the law, I'm afraid." The very next day, Elijah went to see the constable at his police house and thrust a piece of paper in front of him. "There yar," he said, pointing to the dog licence, "now Oi spooz yer happy!" "But, you told me yesterday you had no money," replied the policeman. "So where did you get the money to buy the licence?" "Oi sold me dawg," replied Elijah. * * *
* * * ROOTS OF HOSPITALITY Many years ago, in a small Norfolk village, there lived a lonely old mawther who was a member of the local Methodist church. When visiting preachers arrived in her village, she had never been asked to entertain them – and she felt it deeply. Then, one day, she was over the moon when the long-awaited privilege came her way. That year, it had come to pass that, in her garden, she had a fine root of rhubarb and she decided to prepare rhubarb pie for dinner, a tart for tea and stewed rhubarb for supper. When the day's services and meals were over, the visiting minister thanked her warmly. "An', Oi hatta say," he told the old lady, "how werry much Oi hev enjoyed yar 'ospitality..." "Why, bless you, sir," she replied, then, much to his surprise, " that woont 'ospitality – that wuz roobub!" Dew yew tearke care, tergether!
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Boy Albie
Norfolk born and bred. Archives
August 2020
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