The Market Cross, Bungay LAST CROP A wheezy old allotment holder, puffing at the exertion of lifting his feet over the threshold, entered a seeds-man's shop late in the summer. 'Tanner packet o' stick beans,' he said. 'Sorry, sir,' said the shopkeeper, 'we only sell them in shilling packets.' 'More fool you,' replied the old boy, 'tha's too late to sow a bob's worth.' * * * PROTECTION My brother's boy, aged nine, recently knocked an earwig off his bedroom wall and, as he could not find it on the ground, was terrified that it would hurt him if it got into the bed. 'Don't yew worry,' said his mother. 'That on't hurt yew — but if yew loike yew can put some cotton wool in yar ears ter keep it out.' The boy settled down and his mother went away, to be summoned back shortly after by his urgent call: 'Mum! Mum! Oi on't suffocate, will Oi?' * * * CO-OPERATION The service in the local church was about to begin and the organist impatiently touched the organ keys but no sound came. He hurried round to the back of the organ and said to John, who stood near the hand pump: 'Pump some wind in, so that Oi can start playing.' John promptly replied: 'If yew'd on'y play a little, Oi'd know when to blow.' * * * ALL SUPPLIED A boy came into the village shop and the grocer asked him if it was sweets or biscuits he wanted. 'Both,' said the boy. 'But mum sent me for some soap.' * * *
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Boy Albie
Norfolk born and bred. Archives
August 2020
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