* * * HULLY THUSTY WARK! With his regular grave digger ill, the vicar was struggling to find someone to dig a grave. Eventually, he went to see old George who was a bit reluctant to take on the task. "Oi dun't know as Oi can dew it," he told the vicar, "greave diggun an' the loike ent rarely up moi street!" "Come come, George,' said the vicar, "it's not too much to ask – all you have to do is dig the grave and get the bier." With that, George's face lit up! "Well now, vicar, thass diffrunt. Dew yew mentioned the beer fust orf, Oi'd a dug it afore now." * * * SPELLING MATTERS "Oi sent my little ole mawther to a good skule an' she cum home an' spell Tearter wi' a 'P'!" * * * FAIR EXCHANGE IS NO ROBBERY "Yew jist carn't trust anybody these day, can yew?" Ida Smith complained to Martha Blowers, her next door neighbour. "Ony this mornin' the grocer gev me a dud shilling, would yew believe?" "Go yew on," replied Martha. "Can Oi see it?" "Oh, no, Oi hent got it no more. Oi paid it to the baker!" * * * "Go yew on, Bob," replied Charlie, "not ol' Albert frum the bowels club?" "Yis, thass as trew as Oi sit hare!" Bob replied. "Well, thass a rummun ent ut?" said Charlie, supping on his beer. "Oi wus ony mardlin' wi' him larst week – dew yew know when his fewnral is, bor?" "That on't be yit, Charlie," Bob replied, finishing his beer, "on account a him heving' to hev a portmanteau examination, accordlie to his doctor!" * * * Thass bin a rummun ole week, hent ut? Well, that hev hare, that hev: fust that blew, then that snew, that friz anorl, that did, then that thew!
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Boy Albie
Norfolk born and bred. Archives
August 2020
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